59 #Happy

 

July 20, 2017
Thursday

[1:07 PM]DAVID: JBJ says you drink gin.  Gin??  What happened to Muff Dives?

[1:07 PM]TEDDI: I don't drink ONLY gin.

[1:09 PM]DAVID: Okay, good.  Because I'm crafting a new drink recipe in your honor.  It's called a Dancing Gypsy.

[1:09 PM]TEDDI: That sounds... fun.

[1:11 PM]DAVID: Trust me, you’re gonna love it! 

[1:12 PM]TEDDI: As long as it's served in a large enough pitcher, I'll be delighted.

[1:14 PM]DAVID: Bottomless Gypsies, coming up!  Not sure how your old man is gonna feel about that, though. 

 

 

[1:30 PM]TEDDI: How do I get David to stop talking about Saturday? 

[1:32 PM]JON: I find "shut the fuck up" works pretty well.

[1:33 PM]TEDDI:  Jon, I'm being serious!  It's sweet that he seems excited about it, but the hype isn't helping.

[1:35 PM]JON: I was being serious too, but okay.  I'll tell him to back off.

[1:36 PM]TEDDI:  Thank you.  Do it nicely!

 

 

[1:40 PM]JON: Back the fuck off, Lema.

[1:41 PM]DAVE: Pardon moi?

[1:43 PM]JON: Back off of Teddi.  You're already making her nervous about Saturday, so calm the fuck down.

[1:45 PM]DAVE:  Shit.  Okay.  I'll try.

 

 

looking43bears: Tell me about Teddi. 

mistressmoon: What about her?

looking43bears: Why doesn't she like being around people?

mistressmoon:  She's an empath.

looking43bears:  A what?

mistressmoon:  Empath.  She senses the feelings of those around her and internalizes them.  My grandmother was the same way.

looking43bears:  You mean she knows what I'm thinking?

mistressmoon:  No, she just picks up your energy.  When there are a lot of people around, it becomes overwhelming. 

looking43bears: And she drinks to numb it

mistressmoon: Some.  She’s never told me as much, but I also think it’s the glass as much as the alcohol.  She uses it as a focal point to distract her from the clamor. 

looking43bears: So less people and she's okay?

mistressmoon: Usually.  My sister Cat makes her nuts being so high strung.  Even one-on-one is hard for her with Cat

looking43bears:  Sounds like I need to smoke a joint to hang out with her.

mistressmoon:  Wouldn't hurt.  😉

 

 

July 21, 2017
Friday 

[4:37 PM]TEDDI: What time are we going to David's tomorrow?

[4:40 PM]JON: I'll pick you up about two.  We're going to hang by the pool.  You like to swim?

[4:41 PM]TEDDI: I love it.  Looking like a drowned rat in front of others isn't my favorite, however.

[4:43 PM]JON: I've seen you wet.  Rat isn't what comes to mind.  Siren or mermaid maybe.

[4:45 PM]TEDDI: *blushes*  Are you being a pill again?

[4:47 PM]JON: Little pill.  Like baby aspirin. 

[4:49 PM]TEDDI:  Well, stop it.

[4:50 PM]JON: Okay. #nopillzone… You're beautiful wet or dry, and nobody's going to judge you for relaxing and having fun.  Hand to God.

[4:52 PM]TEDDI:  Thank you.

[4:57 PM]JON: Ever have sex in a pool? 

[4:58 PM]TEDDI:  JON!

[4:58 PM]JON:  What??  I was just asking.

 

 

July 22, 2017
Saturday

[9:45 AM]TORI: Hey.  I'm coming into Red Bank for a hair appointment and to shop.  Want me to pick up lunch at Patrizia's and bring it by about 1:00?

[9:47 AM]TEDDI:  That sounds nice, but today's not a good day. 

[9:47 AM]TORI: Everything okay?

[9:49 AM]TEDDI: Yes, of course.  I just have a date.

[9:51 AM]TORI:  I’m sorry, we must have a bad connection.  My screen says you have a DATE.

[9:51 AM]TEDDI: Seems like fake news, doesn’t it?  Lol.

[9:53 AM]TORI:  YES!  With who?  If it's that asshat Pierce, I'm going to bring a baseball bat and break his kneecaps.

[9:54 AM]TEDDI: Put away your inner Mafia princess.  Even if it was Pierce, you wouldn’t do that. 

[9:54 AM]TORI: I might!  If not Pierce then who?  Oh God.  Is it JBJ?  Tell me it’s him.  Please!

[9:56 AM]TEDDI: I may end up regretting this, but… Jon's taking me to David’s for the afternoon.

[9:59 AM]TEDDI: No reaction?  I’m a bit disappointed.

[10:04 AM]TEDDI: Tori? 

[10:10 AM]TEDDI: Hello???

[10:15 AM]TORI: Open the damn gate!

 

 

“Not only do you have a date, you’re leaving the house for it?” Tori demanded, barging in without a formal greeting.  “How did this happen?”

 

“Hello, Victoria.  It’s lovely to see you, too, although this is a bit unexpected.”

 

“Oh, don’t give me that unexpected bullshit,” her cousin snorted, critically scanning Teddi’s khaki capris and vanilla blouse.  “And you better not be wearing that.”

 

She closed the door with a laugh. “He won’t be here for hours, so I have plenty of time to change.  What are you doing here?  What time is your hair appointment?”

 

“Forty-five minutes, which gives me plenty of time to assess your closet.  You cannot hang with rock stars dressed like a kindergarten teacher for the color blind.”

 

Teddi reached for her necklace, glad that she’d had the foresight to put it on when getting dressed.  She’d known it was going to be a challenging day even before a whirling dervish blew into the house on a mission.  Thumbing the filigree, she willed the mild anxiety away and trailed after the woman who was determinedly scaling the stairs.

 

Had she locked the boudoir when she put fresh sheets on this morning?  Yes.  She was certain of it. 

 

“There’s no need to be insulting, Victoria.”

 

“It’s not an insult if it’s true.  Please tell me you own something in a color other than beige,” Tori begged, sailing past the door whose knob Teddi surreptitiously checked before joining her in the master closet.

 

“I believe you recently informed me that black isn’t a color.  If you’re not counting that or white, then no.  I don’t own something in another color.”

 

“Not even one cute, flowery summer dress?”  There was no point in giving an answer.  Since Tori was already tearing through the hangers, she would discover for herself in about thirty seconds.  “You really don’t have a fucking color in here.  How is possible to avoid all color?”

 

Teddi leaned a shoulder against the doorway, crossing one arm over her waist while dragging the aromatherapy pendant absently back and forth on its chain.  “If he had an issue with my fashion sense, he probably wouldn’t have invited me out.  Did you ever think about that?”

 

“Since this closet is a woeful disappointment, give me a spark of life by telling me how this happened.  Did he call you up out of the blue and say, ‘If I can’t have Tori, I’ll take the next best thing’?”

 

“How did you guess?”  Teddi drawled.

 

“Ha!  If only.”  Utterly disgusted by the clothing options, she nudged Teddi out of the way and went to the chair whose last occupant was Jon on the night everyone was here.  Unaware of its celebrity distinction, Tori flopped down and crossed her legs to demand, “No, seriously.  Set the scene.  Tell me what happened to score a date with His Royal Hotness.”

 

We pretended he took my virginity a second time, and during the romantic dinner that followed, he invited me to his friend’s house.

 

The truth definitely wasn’t going to suffice.  What had she been thinking in typing the word ‘date’ in that text message? 

 

She hadn’t been thinking.  Nerves and excitement had rendered her brain dead and put her fingers on autopilot.  The truth had been revealed in a split second of insanity, and there was no take back when it came to text messaging.  That left her on the receiving end of her cousin’s shrewd gaze.

 

There were three choices here – the truth, a lie, or a creative blend of both.  Lying wasn’t her favorite thing, but she wasn’t particularly ready to share the whole truth yet either, so Teddi went with option number three.

 

“The invitation stemmed from David, who has been messaging me off and on since the night Pierce showed up.  He’s bothered by my social anxiety and is trying to help by giving me an outing in a ‘controlled environment’.  Jon was elected to coax me into it.” 

 

“Mm-hmm.”  From the arms that folded over her chest, Tori wasn’t buying the creative approach.  That was confirmed when she went on to sigh, “Look.  I get that you’re all about privacy and keeping your life as your own.  We all know why, but for God’s sake, Teddi.  I love you like a sister.  Unconditionally.  Is it too much to ask for a peek behind the iron curtain once in a while?  I just want to know you’re happy and maybe get the chance to be happy with you.” 

 

The wounded expression had Teddi biting her lip with guilt.  “Iron curtain” was a bit harsh, wasn’t it?  She shared things sometimes.  Come to think of it, so did Tori.

 

“You told him about my stutter.”

 

“So?  It made you a real person instead of a Stepford widow.  Grandmother was the only one who appreciated perfection.  Most of us prefer a little humanity, and I guarantee you that man is nowhere near perfect.  I just leveled the playing field for him.”

 

“Stepford widow?”

 

With puckered lips, Tori gestured to the perfectly made bed, the shiny floors, the precise arrangement of items on the dresser.  “Frankly, I was relieved to find out you had a gigolo, even if I don’t like him now.  At least sex is messy and unregimented.  Oh God.  Please tell me your sex is messy and unregimented.  If you’re a neat freak in bed, too…”

 

Teddi’s resolve splintered on a laugh.  Half of her wanted to see what would happen if someone besides her lovers knew the truth about her.  The other half was still hesitant, but what would it hurt to share a little of herself?

 

“Drop the ‘neat’,” she suggested.  “Then you’ll be closer.”

 

“You’re a freak in bed?” Tori sat up straight with keen interest.  “Oh, hell yes!  If I can’t sleep with him, at least I can be happy knowing he’s in good freakshow hands.  I just wish dude had a clue what he’s got to look forward to.”

 

Thinking of everything they’d done in the room next door, Teddi lifted her eyebrows with a pointed, “Oh, he knows.”    

 

“Whaat?  You’re telling me you already slept with him?!”

 

She was almost as surprised about the revelation as her cousin but didn’t back down from it.  In fact…. 

 

“It’s not just sex.  He’s used the word girlfriend a few times.” 

 

“Oh.  My.  God.”  Tori’s mouth pulled down at the corners, and there may have been a sheen in her eyes when she popped up for a fierce hug.  “I’m so fricking happy for you.  Jealous as hell, but happy.”

 

Rather than cringing at the close contact, Teddi coached herself to relax into it.  The nearness felt awkward but not horribly uncomfortable, and by focusing on the reason behind it, she was able to return the embrace.  Perhaps not enthusiastically, but at least with genuine affection. 

 

It felt right.  It felt normal and gave her a dollop of hope for the afternoon ahead.  Maybe hanging out with Jon and his friends would feel normal.  She wanted it to.  Teddi despised the thought of him looking at her and seeing nothing but awkward anxiety.  What she hoped to inspire in those observant blue eyes was the understanding that….

 

“I’m happy, too.”

 

58 #Diversions

The summer evening would've been gorgeous under any circumstances.  Temperatures hovered in the ideal range between too hot and too cold, the palette of dusk stunningly stained the horizon, cicadas performed evening warmups in the foliage, and flying insects respected human boundaries.

 

Adding a healthy dose of afterglow made for a rare slice of perfection.  It would take a lot for Teddi to see anything but the happy side of life right now, and the man gliding up behind her had everything to do with it.  Heavy hands seated familiarly around her waist, and bare toes bumped her heels as he peered at the grill.

 

"Looks good," Jon admired the perfectly seared sea bass and asparagus.  "How much longer?"

 

"They're ready to come off now. I just need to let them rest while I set the table."

 

Dropping a kiss high on her cheekbone, he assured, "Already taken care of.  I got the wine and that bowl in the fridge, too."

 

The bowl was an orzo pasta salad that rounded out their meal, and she turned a side-smile on him while transferring food from grill to platter.  "Thank you, Cappy."

 

"That's what we're goin' with, huh? Cappy?"

 

Her smile pulled wider at his amused resignation.  "Now that you've taken me on two maiden voyages, yes.  It feels appropriate.  Do you have an objection?"

 

"Nah.  I don't care."

 

"Good."  Elbowing him gently away, she turned toward the house.  "Now let's go eat while it's fresh."

 

Once inside, she found the kitchen table as empty as she’d left it when going out to the grill.  He must've noticed her confusion because Jon explained, "I thought we'd eat in the dining room this time.  That okay?"

 

"Of course.  I just don't often use it, so I was surprised.  I hope there's no dust on the table."

 

"It's fine, and considering your aversion to people, I'm surprised you use it at all."

 

Teddi had taken meals less than a dozen times there, and over half of those were alone.  In the winter, she sometimes llit the fireplace and enjoyed the ambiance with her dinner.  

 

And speaking of ambiance...

 

Pillar candles had been taken from the mantle to replace the pottery bowl that was the usual centerpiece of the round mahogany table.  A cluster of chunky vanilla wax now sat center stage, and their flames lent an extra layer of visual texture to the twilight filtering through California shutters.

 

"How pretty," she praised, placing the serving platter in a vacant spot among the tableware.

 

Brawny shoulders lifted and fell dismissively.  "Felt like it was time for us to have a real date.  Candles in the dining room was the best I could do on the spur of the moment."

 

The same man who stuck a finger in her bottom as a diversionary tactic had engineered a romantically lit date.  In some ways, he was a series of stark contradictions. 

 

"Well, I think it's a wonderful idea and incredibly thoughtful.  Thank you."

 

He accepted her kiss and pulled out a chair, gesturing for Teddi to sit.  "It also provides a segue to the idea of an off-premises outing."

 

The napkin that was settling onto her lap stilled in her grasp, but he was perfectly at ease when taking the adjacent seat.  His smile was full of charm and enticement, making her reconsider that thought about contradictions.  This was just another poke in an intimate area to get what he wanted. 

 

"You're being a pill again."

 

"What?"  His own napkin settled seamlessly on the cargo shorts that were at odds with the formality of linen.  "Just because I want to get you in a receptive mood?"

 

Teddi's eyes rolled.  "Because you're using charm as a tool for manipulation.  You know very well how to get me in a 'receptive mood' without that, as evidenced by the tenderness between my legs."

 

"You're sore?"

 

Shaking her head at his prideful smirk, she scolded, "That's not the point.  Now what’s this 'outing' that I’m being schmoozed for?"

 

"It’s not schmoozing," he argued, holding his plate out to accept a serving of grilled food.  "It’s creating a receptive environment."

 

"To-may-to, to-mah-to.  Get on with it."

 

"Fine.  I'm leaving for the beach next weekend."

 

While not exactly counting down the days, she had known it was coming.  Those who followed Jon for any length of time knew he spent the latter part of summer at his home on eastern Long Island.

 

"I expected that you'd be going soon.  August in East Hampton is pretty standard for you."

 

"I... Yeah." His partially filled plate touched down on the table so that he could frown while reaching for the orzo.  "A lot of your pre-existing knowledge about me is nice – food, wine, movies.  All that's pretty cool and convenient, if I’m being honest, but some of the shit you know creeps me out."

 

"Having your comings and goings documented is the price of celebrity,” she pointed out.  “It's not as though you're unaware it's happening.  You smile and pose for the photos."

 

"Well, not with the idea that my future girlfriend is looking at them, for Christ's sake.  Being in a relationship with someone who's read all the comings and goings is new for me." 

 

Wrinkling her nose thoughtfully when accepting the orzo bowl, she conceded, "I suppose it is.  Would you rather I keep my research knowledge separate from my hands-on knowledge?  Feign ignorance by saying, 'Oh, really?  What beach?'"

 

He pulled a grimace of disgust around a sip of wine.  "Now that you say it that way, no.  Any way to split the difference?"

 

"Well.  Perhaps."  Clearing her throat, Teddi presented him with a warm smile.  "The beach, you say?  I think I read something about a home in East Hampton where you spend part of the summer.  Is that where you're headed?"

 

"Better, thank you."

 

"My pleasure." Her chin dipped as she pointed fork tines in his direction.  "I assume you're going to try to coerce me out of the house for dinner after you get back?  Is that where this is going?" 

 

"I was actually going to ask if you'd like to join me for a week or weekend.  Whatever you’re comfortable with."

 

Join him.  In East Hampton, where he regularly traveled the social circuit for fund raisers and newsworthy events.

 

He had been photographed at more of those than she could easily count, although multiple images of a tanned and smiling Jon popped readily to mind.  They were Teddi's favorite annual pictures, because they revealed how much the sun and sand agreed with him.  His eyes sparkled a little brighter over bronzed cheeks, and the easy tilt to his smile spoke of relaxation.

 

He wasn’t at all bothered by the throngs of people in the background – but Teddi would be.  Horribly bothered.  She couldn’t subject herself to that or embarrass him by incessantly fiddling with jewelry. 

 

Not to mention his children.  That home was a family vacation home, and they weren’t at a stage for her to be meeting children.  They may never be at that stage, but next weekend was completely out of the question.

 

“I consider it a privilege to be invited,” she assured him tentatively, hoping that this wasn’t going to turn into a quarrel.  “But I must regretfully decline.”

 

“Okay.  Fish is delicious, by the way.  Everything is.”

 

“Thank you,” she murmured absently, a bit dumbfounded. 

 

Compressing her mouth to match the eyebrows that drew low, she wondered if it was too much to hope he would accept her answer without debate.  That would be a first for her.  Every time she refused an invitation, the issuer of the invitation always tried to goad her into accepting – repeatedly – until someone inevitably became angry. 

 

“That’s it?  ‘Okay’?  No guilt trip or argument?”

 

“Nope,” he confirmed with a playful wink.  “I didn’t actually expect you to agree, but it was worth a shot.  I do, however, expect you to accept my counteroffer, which you should find less daunting by comparison.”

 

Damnation, the man was a skilled negotiator.

 

“You offered me the Hamptons as a scare tactic so that I’d accept this other thing with a sigh of relief?” Teddi asked with an incredulous laugh.  “What if I’d said yes to the Hamptons?”

 

“It wasn’t just a scare tactic,” he countered calmly while cutting the tip from an asparagus spear.  “I’d love for you to go, but I knew it wasn’t realistic.  Not yet.”

 

Teddi met the eyes that found hers, noting that they held nothing but open honesty.  No judgment, no censure, just acceptance of how she was.  Watching him chew, she wondered how long that would last.  If a counteroffer waited in the wings, it was possible that he was already feeling inconvenienced by her antisocial nature. 

 

Don’t borrow trouble.  Wait and see what he has to say first.

 

“So what is realistic, in your estimation?  What’s this thing I’m supposed to agree to?”

 

“Just a small, friendly gathering at Dave’s house this weekend.”

 

Okay.  So far, she wasn’t ready to hyperventilate.  David had mentioned something of the sort, but since no one had said anything further, she’d hoped it was a joke.  Apparently, it was only awaiting the right timing.  But had the scope changed?  Jon’s choice of words was open to interpretation. 

 

“How small?  You consider five hundred an intimate gathering.”

 

Picking up his wineglass with a chuckle, Jon promised, “Legitimately small.  Me, you, Dave and Lexi.  Maybe his kids?  I’m not sure on that, but you’ve already met Gabby.”

 

“Twice, in fact.  Nice young lady but a bit hyper.” 

 

The girl had talked nonstop when delivering Joey Bishop.  Topics spanned New Jersey traffic, lack of left turns, the benefits of chauffeurs, her father’s insanity and the chances of it being hereditary, and best practices for acclimating a goldfish to its new surroundings.   

 

“That pretty much describes Dave at her age.  I think her twin brother is more laid back.  The youngest lives with Dave’s ex and doesn’t visit a lot, so you’re looking at four people max, besides us.”

 

“Unless Gabby brings a cadre of her comedic friends.”

 

“She won’t.”  Jon confidently speared a piece of fish.  “Dave doesn’t want to see you lose your shit again – his words, not mine – anymore than you want to lose it.  We’re creating a safe, controlled environment, according to him.  He’s been reading online about agoraphobia.”

 

When he popped the bite into his mouth, Teddi dipped her head to peer at him skeptically.  “And you trust him?”

 

“Sure I do.  He’s annoying as hell, but the guy’s half a fucking genius and good people.  I will warn you that he’s going to ask what professional measures you’ve taken to deal with your condition.”

 

Damnation.  That was one of the other things they were supposed to have covered tonight.  She really wasn’t in the mood but still asked, “I thought you were going to quiz me on that?”

 

“If you agree to go, I’ll defer it to Dave.  It’ll keep you from having to repeat it.”

 

Teddi would almost rather tackle it now since she knew how to handle Jon.  David was still something of a wildcard, and his wife…

 

“Lexi is intimidating.  She seems like one of those mean girls from prep school.”

 

Putting down his flatware, Jon exchanged it for wine.  He parked both elbows on the chair arms and let the glass dangle from one hand while he considered the statement.

 

“I guess I can see why you might think that, but there are really only three things you need to know about Lex.”

 

“And those are?”

 

“One,” he held up an index finger to count along with the points.  “She likes to drink.  Two, she likes money.  Three, she enjoys the clothes, jewelry and vacations that come with the money.  Don’t threaten any of that, and she’s cool.  She also has a pretty good sense of humor, because c’mon…  Look at her husband.”

 

Lexi shouldn’t take issue with Teddi, then, since she had no desire to interfere with any of those things.  The only remaining question was whether she could make herself do it.  To willing go into an unfamiliar place with largely unfamiliar people and pretend to enjoy herself.

 

“I’ll want the aromatherapy necklace and meditation ring,” she cautioned, waiting to see if it made a difference.  When he just nodded, she went on to say, “And a drink.”

 

“Booze is never in short supply at Dave’s house.”  His assurance was accompanied by an outstretched hand and she allowed hers to be folded inside it.  “But you’re not going to need any of it, baby.  I’ve got your back and your hand.  Everything’s going to be fine.”

 

When it was just the two of them sitting here alone in her house, Teddi could easily believe every word.  When she was outside of her home and comfort zone, however….

 

“I’ll just have to trust you on that, I suppose.”