37 #Stalked

 

July 12, 2017

Wednesday

 

[7:32 AM]TEDDI:  Don’t let Craig sell his share yet.  I have a buyer for him.  And for you.

[7:34 AM]TORI:  Am I selling?

[7:34 AM]TEDDI:  Yes.  You won’t be able to resist this offer.  Can you both come over this evening to discuss?

[7:35 AM]TORI: You’re going to make wait until TONIGHT to find out?  That’s BS.  I’m coming over now.

[7:36 AM]TEDDI: Gates are locked and I’m not opening them until 5. 

[7:36 AM]TORI: 🤬

# # # # #

gypsysoulle: Why in the world do you need a psychic?

looking43bears: I lost my wedding ring and am afraid to tell the missus.  Groveling gift ideas are also welcome.

gypsysoulle: Oh dear.  I don’t know that a psychic will help you.  Might want to consider a florist instead.

looking43bears: You’re not helping here, Gypsy.

gypsysoulle:  Right.  Let me check on that and get back to you.

looking43bears:  Okay, but could you HURRY???  I played it off as a little kink in the beginning, but she’s starting to get suspicious about me wearing rubber gloves to bed.

gypsysoulle:  You can’t just tell her you took it to the jeweler to be cleaned?

looking43bears: *mic drop* 

gypsysoulle: LOL.  I’m guessing that never crossed your mind?

looking43bears: Forget the psychic.  I just need you.

gypsysoulle: That’s very sweet, but you should probably find that ring.  I’ll see if my neighborhood clairvoyant can help.  Talk soon.

# # # # #

[10:55 AM]DAVE: I have a serious crush on Dr. Teddi Bear 😍

[10:56 AM]JON: Am I supposed to care?

[10:56 AM]DAVE:  YES, fucker!  I want to meet her.

[10:57 AM]JON:  You got my number confused with Tinder, man.  I don’t schedule hook-ups.

[10:58 AM]DAVE:  You’re just bitter about IG.

[10:58 AM]JON: Twitter this week.  She set me up as @hashtaghero.

[10:59 AM]DAVE:  BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!  SERIOUSLY crushin’ over here! 🤣😂🤣😂

# # # # #

Voicemail message from 617-xxx-xxxx:  Mrs. Montgomery, this is Rudyard Thornapple of the law firm Thornapple and Witherspoon.  I am contacting you on behalf of Endicott Peabody, who has authorized me to make a very generous offer in conjunction with The Peabody Company.  It would benefit you greatly to return my call within the hour.  I look forward to hearing from you.

# # # # #

[11:37 AM]TEDDI: I have a small favor to ask of you.

[11:38 AM]MAGGIE:  It’s been a long time since you asked me for anything.  I’m thrilled but terrified.  What’s wrong?

[11:40 AM]TEDDI: Nothing is wrong.  A friend has lost his wedding ring and is looking for some help in finding it.

[11:41 AM]MAGGIE: Friend?  Is this the man that bit you????

[11:41 AM]TEDDI: NO!  It’s just someone I know on social media.  Would you talk with him?

[11:42 AM]MAGGIE: Damn.  I got excited for a minute.  Of course I’ll talk to him.  Anything for you.

[11:42 AM]TEDDI:  Thank you. 

[11:43 AM]MAGGIE:  Any updates on Peabody’s?

[11:44 AM]TEDDI:  Not yet.  I have a meeting this evening and will let you know something after.

[11:44 AM]MAGGIE:  K.  Love you.

[11:44 AM]TEDDI:  ❤

# # # # #

gypsysoulle: You should be getting a message soon from “Mistress Moon”. 

looking43bears:  Seriously?  MOON?!? 

gypsysoulle:  Yes.  I didn’t foresee that as a problem since you have an album and two children with lunar names.

looking43bears: NOT a problem.  It’s a sign that I’m saved!  Thanx Teddi bear!

# # # # #

[12:12 PM]TORI: Craig said he’ll be there.  I’m dying of curiosity.  You know that, right?

[12:13 PM]TEDDI: You aren’t DYING, you’re merely curious.

[12:14 PM]TORI: Sometimes I think you’re part Vulcan.

[12:14 PM]TEDDI: Made of rubber?  🤔

[12:15 PM]TORI: LMAO!  And then I remember you haven’t watched a day of Star Trek in your life, so that reference means nothing to you. 

[12:16 PM]TEDDI:  The space show?  No.  Sorry. 

[12:16 PM]TORI: Love ya, anyway Dr. Spock. 😘

[12:17 PM]TEDDI: The BABY doctor???

[12:17 PM]TORI: 🙄 Le sigh…

# # # # #

mistressmoon: I understand you need some assistance

looking43bears:  Seriously!  I lost my wedding ring.  Can you tell me where it is?

mistressmoon: I don’t know if I can or not but will try with your help.

looking43bears:  What do I do?

mistressmoon: Visualize the ring.  

looking43bears: Ok….

mistressmoon: Concentrate on it. 

looking43bears: Ok….

mistressmoon: Feel the weight of it on your hand.

looking43bears: Ok….

looking43bears: Are you still there?

looking43bears: Hello?

mistressmoon: Does your ring have skulls on it?

looking43bears:  OMG YES!!!!

mistressmoon: That is good.  I have a connection.  It’s just a matter of time now.

# # # # #

[12:30 PM]UNKNOWN: Call the lawyer, Theodosia.

[12:32 PM]UNKNOWN: Stop being a pain in the ass.

[12:32 PM]UNKNOWN: I can and WILL ruin your life.

# # # # #

@hashtaghero: Hello Twitter. #hatethisshit

@curlystooge: Dude.  You’re so whipped.  But I’m in love with your dominatrix, so it’s just jealousy talking.

@hashtaghero: Are you stalking me?

@curlystooge:  You feel stalked now, wait until I show up at your house…

# # # # #

[1:45 PM]TEDDI: Tori and Craig will both be here at 5.  Would you like to stay for dinner after?

[1:47 PM]JON: Thanks, but I have a dinner date in the city at 8.

[1:47 PM]TEDDI: Very well.

[1:48 PM]JON: With my daughter, in case you’re wondering.

[1:49 PM]TEDDI: I wasn’t.

[1:49 PM]JON: Liar.

[1:50 PM]TEDDI: Your social life is none of my concern.

[1:51 PM]JON:  You’re still interested in it.

[1:52 PM]TEDDI:  I’ve been quasi-stalking you for decades.  Of course I’m interested!  That doesn’t mean you owe me any explanations.

[1:53 PM]JON:  Stalking, huh?

[1:53 PM]TEDDI:  Figuratively speaking… for the most part.

[1:54 PM]JON: Ok now I’m imagining you with a camera, skulking behind a crowd of screaming groupies and taking note of who slipped behind the barriers.

[1:55 PM]TEDDI: I have to admit your taste is sometimes questionable. 😉

# # # # #

Voicemail message from 617-xxx-xxxx:  Mrs. Montgomery, this is Rudyard Thornapple following up on my previous call.  I haven’t yet heard from you and wanted to emphasize that Mr. Peabody’s offer has a rapidly approaching expiration date.  If you don’t respond today, he may be forced to reconsider his generosity and pursue another avenue of acquisition.

 

 

Jon put on a pair of sunglasses, checked his back pocket for his phone and grabbed the Cadillac key off the garage wall.  It was only about four-thirty, which meant he’d be getting to Cookie’s house a little early, but that was his intention.  It would provide the chance to sniff out the kitchen for fresh baked goods.  He could use a little kipper fix.

 

That’s not the only fix you’re looking for.

 

Okay, so he wouldn’t mind a whiff of the human Cookie, too.  Jon loved his daughter to death, but now that this meeting had come up, he half-regretted the dinner engagement with her.  It would’ve been nice to hang out after Teddi’s cousins left.  Maybe take a trip to the cauldron. 

 

Or to that virgin beige bed.

 

Even better.  He’d been mulling over some creative ways to desecrate that thing, and damn if he wouldn’t love the chance to test drive a couple of them.  Too bad he made it a point not to bail on his kids.  There would be no test driving tonight. 

 

Unless she’s up for a late visitor. 

 

Yeah.  That could work.  He cranked the ignition and punched the garage door opener with a smile that faded upon looking in the rearview mirror.  A gunmetal gray Rolls Royce was parked sideways behind him, trapping him inside.    

 

“Motherfucker,” Jon muttered, killing the engine.  He slid back out of the vehicle and walked toward the man lounging against the cockblocking car’s fender.  “What are you doing here, Lema?”

 

“Duh.  Stalking you.”

 

Two text message exchanges on the subject was about his stalking limit for a day.  He didn’t have the patience or time for a live enactment by his crazy friend. 

 

“Well, congratulations; you found me.  Now how about moving your fucking car?”

 

The other man didn’t rush to get out of the way.  He only folded his arms and noted, “Dorothea was definitely the host of the family.  You don’t make guests feel very welcome, man.”

 

“Guests are invited.  You weren’t, and I’m on my way out.”

 

“Where ya headed?”

 

“I’ve got a business meeting in Rumson.”

 

That tidbit took David from zero to fifty fucks given.  He pushed off the fender to lift attentive eyebrows.  “With Teddi?”

 

Dammit. Jon hadn’t expected his friend to make the connection, but now that he had…  There was no way he could admit the truth.  If he did, Dave would end up calling shotgun for the ride across the river.   

 

“Nah, something else.”

 

Years of friendship had those caterpillar eyebrows lowering into a skeptical squint.  “What else?”

 

Abort!  Abort!  Throw out another squirrel to distract him.

 

“Seriously, man.  Why are you here?”

 

“Oh.  I…”  He resisted for a split second before darting off to follow the conversational squirrel.  “…just left Teak and was in the neighborhood.”

 

Mission accomplished.

 

“Well, too bad we can’t hang out and shoot the shit, but maybe next time.”

 

“Don’t you want to know why I was at Teak?”

 

Jon rubbed a heavy hand over his face and swallowed a sigh.  He was never going to get out of here. 

 

“Since it’s a restaurant and you’re an investor in it, I assume you were supporting your investment by eating there.”

 

“Nope.  Not on this particular trip.  Teddi’s psychic sent me there.”

 

Oh, for fuck’s sake...

      

“Not sure why it took a psychic to find good sushi, but glad that worked out for ya.”

 

“Not sushi, my wedding ring – which had been missing since the weekend.  I forgot I’d taken it off for a rooftop jam.  Staff found it and like Mistress Moon – Mistress Moon.  That’s the psychic’s name.  Isn’t it cool as hell?”

 

“Mm-hmm.”  The less he participated in the conversation the faster it would go. 

 

“Anyway, she said the ring was in a ‘safe’ place.  The office safe.  Saved my ass from Lexi, and I’d like to express my gratitude to both her and Teddi bear.  I thought some in-person persuasion might get you to at least give up TB’s phone number.”

 

Jon checked his watch and found out his window of early arrival had closed.  He actually had to leave now if he was going to be on time for this thing.  The only way to do that was roll over and play dead.

 

“Yeah, sure, but I’ve got to get the hell out of here or I’m gonna be late.  I’ll text it while you move the car.”

 

At first, it didn’t appear as though David heard.  Either that, or he’d absorbed enough psychic vibes to know there was not a chance in hell Jon would text the number.  He remained thoughtfully still for what felt like an hour before blond curls bobbed in slow agreement. 

 

“Yeah, okay.”

 

Thank fuck.

 

“Cool.  I’ll catch up with you in a day or two.  Take it easy, man.”

 

He threw up a wave as he turned away and slid again slid behind the steering wheel.  By the time he turned the key Dave’s Rolls was gliding out of the way, and Jon felt like he’d gotten away with robbery. 

 

Okay, so maybe he felt just a little guilty, but not enough to give his badger-like buddy Teddi’s number.  They were connecting just fine on Instagram without that, he reasoned when pulling out onto Navesink River Road.  Heading toward the bridge, Jon even decided he might even mention it to Teddi.  Let her decide whether or not to share her number. 

 

If she said okay, then Jon would pass it along. 

 

Right now, he was just hoping to get to her house before the cousins.  The paralegal would be bringing the contracts from the city, too, but that wasn’t until five-thirty.  Tori and her brother were supposed to be there by five, and it was currently four forty-five according to the dashboard clock. 

 

Thank God it was a short drive between their houses.  It meant that he was rolling up to the front door only five minutes later – and he was the first vehicle in the driveway. 

 

Feeling victorious, he jumped out of the car and made a beeline for the bell.  She must have been waiting, because the chimes were still resonating when the door swung in to reveal a smiling Teddi.  Wearing a beige summer dress, of course. 

 

“Hi.  I just remembered I owe you a dress.”

 

“I’d forgotten all about it myself.  Good evening, Mr. Bon Jovi.” 

 

The greeting was formal, as was the polite nod of her head, but blue irises danced with a decadent dazzle.   Cookie was happy to see him.

 

“’Mister’?” he teased, equally happy.  “Is that how we’re playing this?”

 

“Yes, it is.  Won’t you come-?”  Her invitation to enter halted abruptly and startled eyes flicked to the driveway.  Those dazzling irises went instantly dull as she lifted a hand to stroke the teardrop pendant.  “I didn’t realize you were bringing a guest.”

 

Guest?  Was the paralegal here already? 

 

Jon swiveled in the direction of her gaze… to find a gunmetal gray Rolls Royce whose driver wore a shit-eating grin. 

 

“I didn’t invite him,” Jon grumbled in annoyance.  “The motherfucker followed me.”