75 #HereWeGo

August 6, 2017

Teddi wiped down the counter for the third time, even though it didn’t need wiping.  The two miniscule coffee splatters had disappeared with the first pass of her cloth, but she still swiped it repetitively over the marble like a mindless and emotionless robot.    

 

Mindless and emotionless would be preferable to the abundance of thoughts and feelings that were steadily multiplying inside her.

 

Caffeine was partly to blame, since she was already on her third cup of coffee at seven in the morning.  Not a wise move to encourage the jitters without a single dose of anti-anxiety medication lurking in the house – and what in the world had possessed her to let that prescription go unfilled?  It had been challenging enough inside the walls of her own home, but with plans to venture out into the world, there was no way she’d survive.

 

You thought Tori would keep you distracted.

 

Yes, well that plan had gone to hell in a handbasket about three hours ago when she discovered a deeply regretful message from Tori, whose daughter was needed an emergency appendectomy during the night. 

 

Of course, Teddi sent the proper reassurance that all would be well with both Shea and the Hamptons while actually terrified that she didn’t have enough backbone to get through the trip without embarrassing herself and Jon.  To walk in the fringes of the spotlight that followed Jon wherever he went, all the way to the entrance of his private domain, where his children would be waiting to assess her worthiness as a companion for their father.

  

I should’ve stuck with decaf this morning.

 

“Hey.” 

 

Her hand paused in mid-swipe, and an reflexive smile formed for the man who clearly hadn’t combed his hair with anything other than his fingers.  Even in partially wrinkled clothes, he still looked good enough to eat with a spoon, and that stubble was almost a distraction from her inner turmoil.

 

Almost. 

 

“Good morning.  Can I fix you some coffee?”

 

“Sounds good.  You’re up earlier than I expected.”

 

They should both still be in bed since neither had dozed off in their post-orgasmic haze until after two o’clock.  The physical exertion alone should’ve left her unconscious for hours, but that wasn’t to be the case.  Gnawing trepidation and anticipation had woken her shortly after four and Tori’s message.  Even with his reassuring arm weighing heavy around her waist, Teddi couldn’t relax enough to go back to sleep, but she’d left him snoozing comfortably.

 

“I could say the same for you,” she remarked with forced cheer, taking her dishcloth back to the sink and folding it carefully over the edge before returning to the Keurig. 

 

“Mm.”

 

Thankful for something productive to do, she busied both mind and hands with locating the new French roast she’d ordered for him and popping it into the machine while he climbed onto a stool.  Jon leaned both forearms on the island with a gaze heavy enough for Teddi to feel as she carried out the mundane task.  Whatever he was thinking behind sleepy blue eyes – if anything – was kept to himself as the coffee maker chugged through its assignment. 

 

The silence stretched, unbroken as she delivered a steaming cup, placing it carefully on the surface in front of him.  When she tried to step back, a firm hand cuffed her wrist to prevent the retreat, and Teddi expected she was about to receive a lecture on relaxation.  But Jon didn’t offer chastising words.  He merely flipped her palm up to press a soft kiss in the center before releasing her. 

 

Surprised and touched, she clenched the sweet gesture in her hand like a talisman, willing it to ward off the worry over what lurked beyond her front door.

 

Last night, she’d mindlessly called him an asshole, knowing how far that description was from the truth.  He just didn’t dress reality up in fancy clothes, false propriety or barely veiled disdain.  He kept things honest and genuine, right down to the wordless support displayed in that kiss. 

 

It would be so easy to slide into the norm he perpetuated.  A life without subterfuge or fear of consequence, where family didn’t judge harshly or punish cruelly.  Where support was unconditional because it was fueled by…

 

She couldn’t – wouldn’t – finish the thought.

 

“I’m frightened, Jon.”

 

“I know,” he said evenly, with no evidence of either sympathy or judgment. “Just like you know there’s no real reason to be.  It’s nothing but a nice, relaxing trip to the beach.”

 

It wasn’t the beach trip that Teddi feared.  Okay, it was, but that’s not what drove her to admit the fear.  No, her more immediate concern was falling foolishly in love with this often brash, sometimes gentle man.  Of opening her heart and depending on him to step inside to fill the cracks.  Of being devastated when it was over.

 

But all that was too much to confess on a morning like this when her emotions were already on edge.  The corners of her mouth twitched into a polite shape of acceptance as she instead chose to follow the path he set.  “I hope you’re right.”

 

“I know I am.”  One shoulder dropped low as he reached into a cargo pocket on his shorts.  Whatever he removed remained hidden inside the loose fist he brought to the island counter.  “Remember me saying last night that I bought you something?”

 

“Now that you mention it, yes.” 

 

“Get that happy little sparkle outta your eye,” he ordered with dry humor.  “It’s a practical gift, not a pretty one.”

 

“The fact that you bought a gift at all is enough to warrant a sparkle.”

 

“Yeah, well, just remember it comes with good intention,” he cautioned before pushing the hidden treasure across the counter toward her.  “Sorry they didn’t have beige.  Gray was the best I could do.”

 

Taking in the thick, oblong box just bigger than a harmonica, she immediately noticed that this “gift” wasn’t wrapped in any way.  The packaging clearly revealed the contents, and upon seeing the photograph with the tag line “Calming Companion”, she got a lump in her throat.    

 

“It looks like an asthma inhaler,” Jon pointed out.  “So, if you feel like you need to use it, people will just think it’s asthma and not anxiety.  The lights and vibration are supposed to guide you back to normalized breathing.  It has a scented part, too, so that four senses are activated.  That’s supposed to distract you from the anxiety into a state of calm.”

 

Teddi blinked away a faint mist of tears, marveling that her heart could still beat after melting into a pile of goo.  It was arguably the most thoughtful gift she’d ever received.  Rather than simply demanding that she go join society like a “normal” person, he was supplying her with tools to support the journey. 

 

She was awed, grateful, and… so much more.

 

“It looks… amazing.  I can’t thank you enough.”

 

“I dunno about amazing,” he said with a wry chuckle.  “But maybe just knowing you have it will keep the nerves away.  Kinda like garlic warding off vampires.”

 

Just knowing he’d gotten for her would help, because come hell or high water, Teddi planned to walk through the front door this morning without ado.  She would hold her head high and act as though flying to the Hamptons with her celebrity companion to meet his grown children was an everyday occurrence.  She would handle herself with aplomb and composure that would make Grandmother Peabody proud. 

 

Jon deserved that.

 

“I suppose you would know a thing or two about that after portraying a vampire hunter.” 

 

His faint grimace was adorable, particularly when preceded by a sideways eye roll.  “Let’s not go there, m’kay?  Not my finest movie.”

 

Teddi wanted to deserve him, and if it meant a continual battle with her natural instincts to do that… so be it. 

 

That was easier said than done she found as they were walking from the private plane that had ferried them to Long Island’s east end.  The flight itself was fine, with only a tiny three-person crew that were very discreet, so she’d managed to stay calm.

 

To be honest, she’d stayed calm only because there was no opportunity to dwell on what lay ahead.  Jon had kept mind otherwise engaged by using conversation as a distraction.  He asked about the cookies she brought along, Tori’s daughter, and all the details of Teddi’s previous week that hadn’t come up during their text sessions.  They discussed what a bitch Deidre was, theorized on ways that she possibly could’ve gotten Esmerelda’s necklace, Kizzy’s inability to recall anything useful, and whether Pierce’s brother would be able to unearth any information. 

 

At one point, he even eased across the aisle for a kiss – one that wasn’t a prelude to anything.  Merely a kiss for the sheer pleasure of it. 

 

He made it seem like everything was perfectly normal, right down to the hand that folded around hers as they approached the terminal door.  It was a casual gesture made while chatting about how the small airfield had changed in the last few years – without fuss, as though he’d done it a million times before.  

 

Half-listening, she focused on the combined heat of their palms as it radiated gradually up her arm and into her nervous system.  His magic touch was about to be put to the test, because the infamous Chevelle was clearly visible in a nearby parking space.  There was no mistaking the young man who sat behind the wheel, skimming his phone while he waited. 

 

“You’ll like Jesse,” Jon told her as they stepped from air conditioning into the saltwater air.  “He’s good at making people feel comfortable.  Gets that from his mom.”

 

“You’re pretty good at it yourself,” she murmured, wishing for a free hand to wrap around her pendant.  Instead, she focused on the weight of the “inhaler” in her dress pocket. Before they left her house, she’d practiced using it enough times to feel confident in her ability to do so if the need arose. 

 

You don’t need it.

 

“You only think so because you’re still enamored with me.  Eventually, you’ll find me annoying as fuck.”

 

“Annoying as fuck, you say?” Jesse piped up, hopping from the convertible with a smile.  “As a matter of fact, you are, but we overlook it in order to inherit your royalties.”

 

“Impertinent little shit,” his father grumbled while releasing Teddi to put her bag in the back seat.  “Jess, meet Teddi.  Be nicer to her than you are me.”

 

“I’m nicer to everybody than I am you.  Hi, Teddi.  Jesse Bongiovi.  Great to meet you.” The young man stuck one hand up in a slight wave before stretching both her way.  “Can I take that box for you?  The one that looks suspiciously like baked goods?”

 

She swallowed the dry, painful lump clogging her airway and forced a smile.  “Are you any more trustworthy with cookies than your father?”

 

“I am not,” was his shrugging admission.  “The cookie gene is a ravenous one, but I do eat slow.  There should be a few left when we get to the house.”

 

It was hard not to be charmed by the unabashed honesty, and her smile came a bit more easily as she passed over the pink box.  “Since they were made with you in mind and using your wine, I suppose it’s only fair to give you first crack at them.  I can always make more if your brothers and sister would like some.”

 

“Uh, hello?  I like cookies,” Jon reminded, ushering her into the passenger seat while Jesse climbed into the back from the other side of the vehicle.

 

“But your metabolism isn’t what it used to be, old man.  Gotta watch that waistline.”

 

“You look in the mirror lately, kid?”

 

The taunting banter between father and son was so obviously filled with love that Teddi found herself a bit jealous of the boy.  She’d lost any opportunity for that when her mother died, and the void was filled with a lifetime of paranoid insecurity.  If the opportunity ever arose, she would point out to this young man just how lucky he was.

 

“Teddi, you won’t have to worry about making more.  The two little goofs left yesterday for their trip with Mom, and the cookie gene skipped Steph.  This looks like plenty for me and the old man.”

 

Curious eyes cut to the man who slid into the driver’s seat without looking her way.  “Jake and Romeo aren’t here in East Hampton?”

 

“Did I forget to tell you that?” a smirking Jon asked over the powerful growl of the Chevelle’s engine coming to life.  “They’re going with Dorothea to visit her sister.  Jess and Stephanie are headed back to the city this evening for short work weeks.  You’re stuck keeping me company until they all get back.”

 

So, Teddi only had to survive a few hours with his older children to earn the reward of alone time with Jon in the fabled house on Lily Pond Lane?  The knots in her midsection eased a fraction.  She could do a few hours.

 

Providing that Stephanie was as pleasant as her brother.